In my little world today, something exciting happened. After nine months of orthodontic treatment, I got my braces off…for the second time. Ha! This is pretty significant, not only because I now have amazingly straight teeth, but it marks the official beginning of the next step for us to grow. David and I have been waiting for my braces to come off so we can start putting out resumes to jobs in another city. In another state altogether.
^I was probably around nineteen here. Before braces.
This next step is scary for so many reasons. There’s so many unknown factors and questions, like how long will it take for someone to hire us? What will the pay be like? How soon after getting hired can we find a place to live? Will we like our neighborhood or neighbors (something I think about because our last experience at an apartment complex was truly awful). What if moving is a mistake? What if we don’t like where we’re going after all? Will we fly this time?
^Twenty-two here, with braces for the first time. I had been wearing them for a year by this point.
Don’t worry, I know all of the answers come with time. I think I get anxiety over it all because there’s a lack of true control and knowing if this next step will work out in our favor. There are some people who are really good at making plans and having them work out, then those who try and fail. And I’ve been reflecting a lot over my life about why this anxiety has such a strong hold over me. Looking back, it feels like I’ve unknowingly given up control over it to other people or felt like certain major situations have been beyond my control. As an incredibly vague example, I was that kid/teenager/young adult that had to get her mom’s permission for everything (sorry mom, I love you! You did good by me, though, I swear!). Looking back, I feel like I couldn’t think for myself or make my own decisions and it lasted too long.
^the day I got my braces off the first time! I was so excited! And since I was over 21, they gave me champagne to celebrate and popcorn (since you’re not supposed to eat that while you have braces on. I’m a rebel and I did anyway. This time, too. Ha!)
Once I found myself making my own decisions in my early twenties, it was then a struggle of life direction. I didn’t have just me to think about, but my fiance (now husband) at the time. We’ve tried our hand at various things to expand our horizons the best we knew how at the time, but nothing panned out. This is when I discovered I’m a planner by nature and it’s also been my attempt at gaining some control over life (though I’m not fooled – I know you can’t control everything. And if I could, I’d be writing a post on that instead). It’s frustrating feeling like you’re trying to ride that wave in life but get pulled under over and over again. It gets discouraging, though I’m fairly optimistic the majority of the time. So basically, heart on our sleeve here, we’re naturally nervous if this plan will or wont work for us.
^Twenty-three, a month after I got the braces off. Also, poor quality photo brought to you by old school blackberry phone camera 🙂
I wouldn’t say I’m a highly adventurous person, but I’m not afraid to try things out, either. Otherwise, how will you know if something is right for you?!? I started a candle business with good intentions. I learned that the business side, I’m not so good at. The creative side is the most comfortable and easy side for me. Because I wasn’t amazing at the business side (as well as a few technical road blocks that I wont get into), I knew I didn’t and couldn’t go on with it. It was the best lesson through that experience for me. Because now I know that much more about myself. Basically, how will we know if this move is the right thing for us if we don’t try?
^Twenty-eight, and they’ve shifted quite a bit.
^In braces here back in October. Also, I like Back to the Future. And I’m not sorry about it. Lol!
So, optimistic me is all too excited about the next chapter we’re prepping for. There’s so much possibility! Finding more about who you are is truly the best. The thought of growing and planting roots somewhere is exciting. Doing this “adulting” thing for real is even exciting to me. But experience so far in life leaves me weary. Though that’s just the chance you have to take in life! It’s worth it in the end.
Symbolically speaking, I feel like now that my teeth are back in alignment, so am I in the next direction life chooses to take me. Whether I’m directly in control of it or not.
Life is challenging. But keep your head up. Keep smiling. And for goodness sake, eat the brownies. Because life is also short and we have to appreciate where we are whether we love it or if we’re hoping to board the next Life Is Easy train.