We’ve discussed before how I’ve always been creative in some fashion. For example, when I was little (around the ages of 5-7) I thought I would LOVE to be a painter. Bob Ross mesmerized me with his afro, soft voice, and his little happy trees. I could’ve watched him paint for hours, taking in his technique, feeling the urge to have a paintbrush in my tiny unskilled hand. I also remember getting paint on the wall, which was probably the end of my painting career. Then I moved on to drawing, which I worked on until about the age of twelve. I always looked forward to art class, and in my final year of it in the 8th grade, I noticed how I would continuously get B’s while my best friend mostly got A’s. I couldn’t and still don’t understand why I just couldn’t be an A student in Art.

During my middle school years I got into writing. The music business intrigued me, and so I began creating “bands” and wrote lyrics, while never singing a note. I was too shy to sing but so determined to “make it”. I wrote my first lyric at age eight and continued on until senior year of high school. My high school years were mostly spent daydreaming (okay, fine, I admit it! I wasn’t as serious about school as I should have been…), reading in class occasionally, and writing or improving lyrics.

The summer that I was sixteen I turned in a couple of my lyrics to Nashville Song Service. They would pick some lyrics or songs and get them recorded for you as a demo then shop it around the industry. I was always determined and motivated and yet I was surprised when I got a call from them. I’ll never forget when I my mom told me who called and why. First of all, my mom wanted to know why this MAN was calling a sixteen year old girl. I don’t recall even telling her I had sent these lyrics off…and like I said, I wasn’t exactly EXPECTING a call but definitely hoping for it. Then they told her that I had potential and if I kept working at it, I could have a career in this by the time I turned twenty one. They were interested in improving one of my lyrics and recording it but I’d have to sign the rights away. My mom and step dad elected to not have me participate in this after talking to a friend in the business. I was bummed but I poured my heart out over writing lyrics for the next year, always having my lyric book with me. I consistently wrote everyday. And then one day I wasn’t inspired anymore or just became burnt out. That was when I turned to writing fiction or at least trying my hand at it. It was weird a little bit because I remember thinking “I can’t imagine my life without writing lyrics,” and here I was no longer writing.

Fiction writing didn’t last quite as long as my lyric writing. I couldn’t ever quite get good at it, but was determined once again to “make it”. I swore to myself I’d write a book one day. My mother started telling people I was going to write a book. The pressure was on but I could never finish a piece anyway. I got too stuck on editing and rewriting my awful stories. A couple people told me I was good, but I always thought they were lying. I still think they were. One day the inspiration stopped for that as well. All I could see was bad writing or bad story telling anyway. Part of me thinks that I was forcing myself to be a “writier” but I actually think I have it in me. Maybe fiction just isn’t my forte.

I kept hoping that the writing bug would bite me again. And maybe it has with this blog thing, which I’m still unsure about…

However, I will say that photography is starting to intrigue me. I think it began when I had to do research for photographers for my wedding. I started noticing style and composition and wished I knew how to do that. I thought that it must be fun having a career in something so creative. As it is, I love looking at pictures and I think I can appreciate a great photograph. If I could learn more about it I feel it would just go hand in hand with my interest with pictures. Maybe I can make it a New Years resolution to learn something about photography? Stay tuned my friends…

*I took the picture above and used for the effects. I have no idea exactly what I’m doing on that site, but I know it’s fun!

2 thoughts on “Paparazzi

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